Kids are like a mirror, what they see and hear they do. Be a good reflection for them.
– K. Heath
“You are your child’s role model”
“My dad is my first hero”
“I am, because my mom was…”
Do these phrases make you feel proud? Yes, but then you should also remind yourself that along with pride comes accountability and responsibility.
It is appreciable that you have inspired your kid to thank and greet others, to follow table manners and traffic rules, and to be considerate about your neighbors.
On the other hand, there are also chances that you could have inspired your kid in a rather unfortunate way. Your son/daughter may be imitating your aggression, the words you spilled the day before may still linger in your kid’s mind, and the child may be mastering the art of procrastination by following you.
Parents greatly influence their children’s behavior. Children often absorb and imitate the parents’ way of doing things. The influence, apparently, can be both beneficial and detrimental to the child’s behavior.
Nevertheless, it is important that parents set the right examples for their children.
This way of imitation is very innate to every kid through which he/she socializes. When you teach your kid how to eat properly or greet guests, the child is being socialized.
Socialization is a learning process by which a child molds themselves to become a responsible participant in the family, classroom, and society.
Though socialization is a lifelong process, primary socialization is a very important phase when the idea of acceptance and learning is established within the child’s understanding.
During this phase, with the influence of immediate family and friends, the child learns the attitudes, values, and actions which he/she is made to believe are appropriate.
For example, if a mother treats her maid disrespectfully, then the child might think that this behavior is acceptable and may adopt the same.
The interesting and tricky part about the way parents influence children is that kids imitate even beyond imagination, in the most intricate ways.
There are huge possibilities that the child has even noted the way you smile and greet the food delivery person, firmly believing that such service providers should also be treated with dignity and respect.
On the other hand, when you once choose to park your vehicle in an inappropriate place, the child may start thinking that it is permissible to break rules occasionally.
So apparently, the ultimate accountability and responsibility for the trajectory of your child’s attitude and behavior is yours.
At times of frustration or anger, when a 5-year-old child uses a swear word, it is most likely that the child is simply mimicking the parent.
So can the child be blamed, disciplined, and punished? Or is it the parent who needs to be disciplined?
Like mentioned before, it is important for parents to be a good role model. It is during this phase when parents should start identifying and negotiating negative behaviors that they may have internalized and keep a constant check on them.
Practically speaking, it is not very feasible to create an ideal household. For instance, a small scuffle between mother and father is unavoidable.
At such times, it is advisable to distract the child from the scene, preventing him/her from imitating.
Most of the time, kids take time to observe before they attempt something. As a rational parent, it is also essential to mold the child in such a way that they develop the rationality to analyze and categorize good and bad behavior before imitating.
It also helps when the child steps outside home and starts adopting secondary socialization, which involves the influence of peer groups, popular culture, and society.