“Do not try to protect your child against every small blow and disappointment. Adversity strengthens character and makes us compassionate. Trouble is the great equalizer. Let him learn it.”
— Ann Landers, Columnist
What is a crisis?
Merriam Webster Dictionary defines CRISIS as “an unstable or crucial time in which a decisive change is impending” or “a situation that has reached a critical phase”.
Every person goes through such moments of crisis, not just adults but kids too. A crisis moment for a kid can be anything ranging from losing a dear one to not being able to recollect an answer during an exam. Often adults tend to look down upon and ignore such crises since kids lack the language to express the magnanimity of the moment.
The term “crucial time” is used to signify such moments because the individual is often unprepared to cope with the situation and is expected to stay strong-willed at the moment. Consequently, they feel that the situation is out of control and end up panicked, confused, and hopeless.
For instance, if a kid is unable to solve a single math problem in an exam, he/she may end up giving up the whole question paper.
Hence, crisis management is a very essential skill that should be nurtured among young ones. It will not only help them in their younger years but will also stay with them throughout life.
Knowing their fears
As a parent, one should be well aware of when and where a child can go through such crises, or in other words, how a child reacts to different situations.
A child may be completely equipped to face a particular situation but might break down in another. A parent should know the kid’s strengths and weaknesses in order to prepare him/her emotionally during crucial moments.
Parents should be vigilant as well as empathetic toward their kids to comprehend their emotional status.
Exposure to crises
Over-parenting or over-protecting often tends to make the child emotionally fragile and unprepared to confront moments of crisis.
Learning is subjective where a child develops his/her own mechanisms to handle an issue based on what he/she has faced before.
As parents, it is obvious that we become more cautious in preventing our kids from getting hurt or facing failure. But we should also remember that we may be concealing a larger, harder, and more competitive world from our child, which he/she will eventually have to face.
Learning from crises
As mentioned above, learning through experiences is how a child becomes equipped to face critical situations.
The child must be encouraged to write down the issues or situations he/she has faced and what was done during those moments. This is one important and easy way for the kid to express feelings.
The child can also be encouraged to share experiences orally. As a parent, you can intervene and share your ideas or similar experiences. Finding solutions to problems together also helps in building a stronger relationship with your young ones.
Trust
The reality is, there is always a limit to what a child can do during crucial situations. Hence, parents should be empathetic toward their kids especially during such times. Being harsh would only undermine their confidence in facing difficult moments.
Here, building trust is the key. If a kid knows that there is someone who can control a situation which they couldn’t, they naturally would not break down emotionally.
They would also be less likely to take irrational decisions that might harm them further.
As a parent, you should firstly make the child feel safe and assured that they can expect every kind of support from you during bad times.
Next, respect their feelings even if they seem absurd from an adult’s standpoint.
Most importantly, understand the different phases of your child’s life and prepare them accordingly to face and fight crises confidently.